Well... I've never really gotten to experience all the so-called joys of having a cellular phone as a teenager because as well all know, my phones usually get disconnected within the first 3 months of me having the phone. I've had every phone service except metro pcs and alltel. amazing huh? I remember when I had cingular once, they cut it off within 3 weeks. Thats really gotta tell you something lol. However, This green phone is the longest phone I've ever had in my entire life... I've had it for 6 months now. Feel free to applaud.
Having a mobile phone for so long, I've come to notice that there are some major differences between this and home phones. Basically, there's a lack of etiquette more so with cellular phones than home phones. So... I've taken the time to list all of my annoyances and complaints with my "friends" and their/your lack of mannerisms.... Enjoy bitches!!!
1. If I call you and you are busy and unable to answer the phone, I completely understand. Just simply call me back at your earliest convenience. However, Don't be an asshole and send me a text message that says something similar to: "Wat did U want?" or "?". Obviously, I wanted to have an actual phone conversation with you.
2. If you've ever text messaged me, then you should know I don't give a fuck about 160 characters or less. sorry.
3. which brings me to my next point, My messages are usually no less than 2 pages long. So since I'm taking 3 minutes to write you a proper message, Don't be a Dildo and respond with some shit like: "ok", "= p", " I see", or my personal favourite "lol!" I see this as the ULTIMATE insult, and will NOT respond to your bitchassness. Simple.
4. Angelina's logic is, if I can use 400 characters on you, then you should be respectful enough to give me 30 characters. Its polite. Its respect.
5. I refuse to butcher the english language just because I have a cell phone now. I do enough of that in real life.
6. LOL! I hate lol more and more everyday.
7. In my experience, lol is a sigh/ pause moment via text that is the equivalent of 'ooh', 'ahh', or 'um' in real conversation.
8. While still on lol, realize that it means Laugh Out Loud. Wow!!! What a concept. Seriously, I'm starting to think that people don't know what it stands for. Mainly because I get lol, to statements that are not an 'lol matter'. Therefore, If I say, "Today was rough, I forgot to finish my algebra and I'm failing at life." Don't you dare "LOL!" me. Real life example: I tell a friend about my shit-tastic weekend and how I sprung my ankle. After waiting for 6 minutes, I receive "LOL!" I'm so glad your bitchass thought it was laugh out loud funny that I'm in pain.
9. Can I NOT stress this enough? It is rude to give one worded, close ended responses. I DON'T wanna see "lol", "lmao", "ok", "whatever", or "funny." If you're gonna respond like that, Anticipate me NOT responding, and you might as well hadn't responded either and wasted 4 measly characters. Seriously. Save your .036 seconds.
10. To go with the aforementioned, If you have a really awesome, badass keyboard phone, I expect no less than 160 characters. I'm damned serious. Don't be lazy.
11. Tell me if you have text/ pix restrictions. Seriously. Otherwise I will bombard you with 500 character length texts and neverending pictures of idiotic mishappenings in my day.
12. I'm not big on talking on the phone unless you're really interesting. Don't take it personally.
13. There's a little thing called caller ID. Wow!!! What a concept. I know who has called me and when. Therefore, you DONT need to leave 17 messages in my inbox.
14. Lets NOT play phonetag. I do it enough with the bill collectors.
15. There are very few people that I make 'contact' with everyday. You know who you are... This contact is either text, real life, phone conversation, Instant messenger, Email, or Myspace messaging. If you think you are one of these people, I can guarantee that you are NOT.
16. With that in mind, since I don't contact the majority of my so-called "friends" regularly, I use a little method... If I initiate some form of contact with you today, then the next time that we make contact of some sort I expect YOU to initiate it. Otherwise, I assume that our "friendship" is unimportant to you. I will then make our "friendship" unimportant to me as well.
17. It's good to end failing "friendships". After 3 months of non-contact your number is deleted.
18. When we talk on the phone, do NOT bitch and complain to me about me wasting your minutes. I don't give a damn.
19. Chances are, if we're having a phone conversation you are already in my fave five. Therefore, Minutes Shminutes.
20. Oh... btw, if you're in my fave five, I love you ALOT, you even have your own ringtone. Awesome isn't it?!
21. Do NOT attempt to have an argument with me! Not in real life, not on the phone, and especially NOT via text. I suck at arguing. And we just might destroy what's left of our shitty friendship. Realize that I am ALWAYS correct. End of argument.
22. I realize that you too hate talking on the phone, but some conversations shouldn't be carried out via text, or myspace messaging. Don't be a lazy, scaredy ass bitch... call me!!!
23. What's the worst that can happen if you call me??? I not answer?! Seriously.
24. I judge people based on 3 types of criteria, one of them is how you text. So if you want to be negatively judged, go ahead and sent me a text that looks like this: "idk y u b doin dat", "= p" (btw what does this emoticon mean???), "wat u thk?", "np ijk tht ev1 b thr". Seriously??? Are you shitting me??? No wonder why China is doing wayyy better than us.
25. My phone is crappy. The sooner you realize this, the better our friendship will be.
26. I don't have the emoticon app on my phone. Keep that in mind when you want to 'mix things up' and send me a funky weird smiley face. Don't leave me in the dark trying to figure out what equal sign, asteric, star means. I'm totally baffled. and seriously what does = p mean??? is that you wearing a hat? or sticking your tongue out? I don't fuggin know.
27. Everyone pretty much uses T9. I'm not retarded, so if you say "im going 2 add" I will assume you meant "I am going to bed". Therefore, you do not need to anally correct yourself.
28. Common curtesy. If I call you, I expect you to 'get back to me' within the next 2 days unless you've a damned good reason. I'll be the judge.
29. I turn my phone off at night. If its not off, you can guarantee its on silent and thats only so I can hear my alarm in the morning.
30. The phone off rule actually started about 2 years ago. Too many reoccurring calls in the middle of the morning. I see how it is... You don't care enough about me to call me during the day when I'm actually awake and possibly bored. But you can call and wake me up... how nice of you.
31. With my phone off I avoid 'Your' bullshit. Here's two examples: a) My beautiful Drunken fool called me at 4am trying to get me to come to a party and get hammered off my ass and quite possibly get gang raped. Gee thanx. how nice of you to consider me as a candidate to blow dro, and drink 40's. b) My girlfriend called me multiple times, eventually I just ignored her ass. The one time I did answer though, she's crying, bawling her eyes out because she just broke up with her 'amazing' boyfriend. How funny that you actually think I care. Yahhh bitchhh its 3 in the damned morning, I couldn't care any less than I do at this moment. She actually had the nerve to say "Angie, you don't care enough, you need to be here for me. I was there for you with Rodney..." My response was "yeah, but I didn't wake you from your sleep either..."
32. Sooo... were both shopping at walmart and you've spotted me. Then come speak to me you moron, Don't send me a text message saying "r u at wm?"
33. DONT STALK ME!!! Don't call me 7 times back to back. Apparently I don't wanna speak to you. Its common sense.
34. So what if I'm not answering your phone calls. Get the fuck over it. Don't borrow someone elses phone to call me.
35. I hate leaving messages on answering machines. I'm not doing it. Period.
36. Don't make me listen to shit-tastic music while I wait for you to contemplate whether or not you wanna talk to me today. You know who you are, I don't want to hear that crappy "I kissed a girl and I liked it."
37. Ringtones are annoying aren't they?
38. Be aware my phone is on vibrate or silent 90% of the time. I HATE noises and beeps. Its annoying.
39. Back to lol again... If I respond with "lol" it means that you've offended me in some way and I don't want to avoid you just yet.
40. Also, my responding with a simple "lol" means that I am making fun of you and your stupidity. Aha, Be insulted baby. Be very insulted.
41. I don't care if you circulate my number around like a cheap whore at a donkey show. You can never have too many contacts. However, don't play games with me. ex: Call. Laugh. Hang up. Ex2: make me play the guessing game about who you are. I really do have better things to do with my time.
42. Pictures are FUN!!! I wish people would send more of them. However, Pictures of your man parts you can keep. I also don't wanna see pics of you and your significant other making out. Its repulsive to me.
43. I really do HATE texting. You can tell by all my complaints. I basically killed the main purpose of texts. I know short, simple, sweet.
44. Really, I miss Instant messaging. It was destroyed by text messaging. I remember when my buddy list had like 60 people signed on, now I'm lucky if I see 5. Sign your ass back on IM, I know you're on your computer playing bitchass games like wow, and updating your myspace/facebook account. So sign onto aim, yahoo, or msn.
45. Texting also killed attention spans on average. If we're conversing/ hanging out in real life, don't you dare whip your phone out and start texting. That shit is so rude its not even funny. Also, don't interrupt our makeout session to return a text. You will endure my wrath like no other.
46. That Bluetooth thingy that people wear in their ears all the time even when you're not talking to anyone... It looks stupid. Take it out.
47. Pretending to be talking on the phone when there's no one on the other line. Its embarrassing. I know you're not talking to anyone, so stop being fake.
48. Lastly, Don't get upset with me for taking 3 minutes to respond to your texts. Even with T9 on, I still suck at it. Sending me additional texts telling me to "hurry it up" isn't gonna make me type any faster... In fact, it slows me down cause I have to stop and read those messages you're bombarding me with. If this is a problem for you, then sign on to AIM, Email, or call me!!! Its not that hard.
